Tuesday, 31 December 2013

So with a bucket of Pakoras and a bottle of Champers

So we are almost at the end of 2013 and what a year it has been. If I remember correctly, I started the year in good spirits, and, I am glad to say, that against all odds I am ending it much the same way. However, it hasn't all been rosy.

Towards the end of 2012 I decided that I was going to get a drawing board and started clearing out my little room at Kew so I could accommodate one. No sooner had I embarked on this plan when my landlady decided to put my rent up. It was more than I could really afford. Simultaneously, a room came up at Henry's house on the other side of London. Being a great believer in serendipity, I took the room and moved in with Henry - about time, we had been dating for three years!

Along came February (please don't worry this isn't going to be a month by month review of 2013), and Henry, who had been getting steadily poorly was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. He had lost several stone in weight, his hair was falling out, he wasn't sleeping and he smelt of pear drops. As a biologist I should have twigged what was going on sooner. So to cut a long story short, this news gave way to a hellish Spring and Summer. Spring never spung - it was the winter that never ended. I had runner beans taking over my studio, eagerly awaiting to be planted out. If it wasn't for Drew my drawing board and the spectacular Rory McEwen Show, I probably would have pulled all my hair out with the drama that was turning out to be my life in 2013.

I made a decision towards the end of 2012, after a failed PhD application to Royal Holloway, that I would concentrate more on my artwork and paint bigger subjects. I like to think I achieved this in 2013. I was, however, tempted by another PhD that came up at Edinburgh University in July. I think I can safely say that this little sod of an application took the life out of me. I spent much of July's heatwave studying in the library at the Wellcome Trust, soaking up as much information as I could about the history of science. After my interview I had to make a dash to Germany for a wedding. Those 4 days were nuts. I didn't get offered the place and to this day I felt like the whole thing was an absolute waste of my time. It felt like they were only interviewing me to tick a box. The experience was not only exhausting but also very expensive.

So anyway, after a few more months I then hit rock bottom. I am sure many of you have noticed how scanty my posts have become of late. After I turned 29 I hit a force 9 wind which blew me miles away to a distant land. I felt lost and even more exhausted than I was in July. I had lost a stone and a half in weight and hadn't slept properly in days. Henry and I almost broke up and we are still teetering around the edge.

Life is tough, but I know that I am not alone in my battles. I have lots of friends who are very poorly at the moment, including Henry. Friends who are even more lost and I find myself finishing this year with the mindset that it is my duty to not only encourage and inspire the people around me but to do the things that I want to do and to not feel defeated in any shape or form.

So with a bucket of Pakoras and a bottle of Champers, Henry and I are off to the south coast for New Years Eve with my family. Let's draw a line under unlucky 2013 and learn from it. My lesson - that my health is the most important thing. This is what I take into 2014, that and another one of those PhD applications, my membership to the Chelsea Physic Garden Florilegium and of course Cosmo.

They say when times are tough the only way is up. I disagree - I am doing an awesome job of spreading. When times are tough it's good to lie down like a snow angel, arms out stretched, ready to give and ready to receive.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year and a magical, stretchy 2014.

6 comments:

  1. What a rocky ride you have had. You're a survivor for sure, and I love the snow angel metaphor. I wish you and Henry good health and good luck for 2014... may it bring lots of joy and art to your lives.

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    1. Thanks Shevaun. Yes I don't want a repeat of this year at all. Lets hope 2014 is awesome. Thank you for your wishes - wishing you the very best too and looking forward to seeing more of your work hung in lots of shows.

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  2. Hi Jess
    This is just to thank you for all the 2013 wow factors, excitement, and absolute delight, your blog has bought to your many devoted readers, of which I am one. May all your best and beautiful dreams come true in 2014.

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    1. Hi Coral, Thanks for your very kind message. I am so glad that you have found this virtual space an informative and inspiring one. Rory was a candle in the wind for me this year and I am so glad that we had that show, it's inspired so many artists. I hope that you had a lovely Christmas. I am wishing you all the very best for 2014 and hope to see more of your work on the gallery walls. Many thanks for your readership and all of your comments, suggestions and help. Here's to you!

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  3. What a year. You have certainly weathered some personal storms in 2013 but I admire and applaud your tenacity to hang on to your dreams. Here's to a smoother 2014 for you and Henry and I wish you every success with your PhD ambitions. Much love xx

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    1. Aww thanks Jarnie, yes it was quite a year and rather sad as it all started with much hope. Who would have thought it? But yes, life ticks on and there's paper to be painted on, languages to be learnt and plants to be saved. Many thanks for your wishes - I also wish you a very happy New Year and hope that we get to see your work at the SBA show again this year. Enjoy your new studio!!!

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